Trying to figure out the best way to discuss something difficult requires that you discover finesse and fortitude. These types of conversations can feel Olympic sporting event difficult. Whether it's your boss, your spouse, your coworker, your pastor, your doctor or your friend, difficult conversations can take on a life of their own.
We might find ourselves in a situation where we are confident that we were very clear, until we realize that the other person took away a completely different perspective than we intended. Saying the right thing, at the right time, is the goal, but we inadvertently miss the mark. Sometimes a discussion can turn into a comedy when the other person actually intended it to be a drama. You want to laugh, but you know you shouldn't. You may be the the one who has justifiable reasons for distress and you feel like you are not heard or taken seriously.
Then there's the people factor. We, all of us, we can be downright contrary. It can feel like certain people are intentionally hard to communicate with. We never have the right words for them to understand our concerns. We find ourselves stuck in our inability to convey our perspective to others. It can be frustrating. How do we go about having a discussion without acheiving clear understanding with one another?
Proverbs 20:5 MSG
"Knowing what is right is like deep water in the heart; a wise person draws from the well within."
Knowing what is right is like finding yourself in deep water. The deeper the water is, the harder it is to see through to the surface. Navigating deep waters takes skill and it can be a tricky learning process. Many times seeking out someone who is more experienced is our best way to navigate through the murky waters of a difficult conversation. Reaching out for counseling or utilizing techniques like mirroring, writing out your thoughts, using 'I' statements, noticing body language and tone, asking questions to clarify and active listening are recommended and can be very successful.
God advises that we draw from the deep well. What is the deep well? When wells are mentioned in this way in the Bible, it is a call to search the Word for assistance. This type of well signifies the teachings and doctrines that we can learn throughout God's Word. Things like being thoughtful and kind with our words, leaning towards forgiveness before hurts can take hold, being generous with faults and having the wisdom to know when to be the bigger person. Love. Remembering that Love is always the best answer. Love one another even when ... because we are all guilty of not listening and not recognizing someone else's perspective. The most important of all is prayer. Seek the counsel of The Holy Spirit and follow His lead. Deep water navigation is one of His specialties.